Matthew 1: Spitzer in the B.C.?

So, as recommended, I dove into the New Testament and read Matthew 1, which runs through the genealogy of the would-be J.C. I'm reading, nothing much hitting me, starting to yawn, when what jumps out at me, but the following footnote: "Judah fathered Perez with his daughter-in-law Tamar, thinking she was a prostitute (see Genesis 38); Salmon married Rehab, a former prostitute in Jericho (see Joshua 6); and David had an adulterous affair with Uriah's wife, Bathsheba (see 2 Samuel 11).

This was my first, of what I'm sure will be many, 'what the fuck?!' moments. And how ironic that I'm reading this on the exact day that our dear, oh-so-arrogant-and-righteous Eliott Spitzer's 'Client #9' status is busted out for all the world to see. Could this be the first spiritual 'coincidence' reading this text will lend? Me think not. But back to Matt.

Of all 3 questionable unions, it was Judah that struck me hardest so I thumbed to Genesis 38 and discovered that Judah's got 3 sons, the first, Er, married Tamar, but God thought him "wicked" and killed him. Apparently, Jewish law (I'm guessing) required Judah's second son, Onan, to marry the widow Tamar and produce an heir.

Well, Onan was a bit miffed and did not want to sire an heir who would not be his, so he put into practice the long-tried birth control method of withdrawal, which pissed off God. I'm not sure whether it was the spilled semen that was so offensive or the selfish act of denying his dead brother an heir, but in any case, God offed him.

This left the third son, Shelah, who was not yet old enough to marry, so Judah sent Tamar back to her parents under the guise of waiting until Shelah was old enough to wed. However, Judah had no intention of Shelah marrying Tamar because Judah thought Tamar was the source of God's wrath and he didn't want to lose his last living son.

So Tamar dutifully returned to her father's home where she remained for many years. In that span of time, Judah's wife died. Following a period of mourning, he and a buddy traveled to watch the shearing of Judah's sheep and word of this reached Tamar.

Now it doesn't say anything specifically about her mood at this time, but it does indicate Tamar was ticked with her father-in-law because Shelah had reached marrying age awhile ago and Judah had not arranged for them to marry. So what does she do? Seduce him.

She changes out of her widow clothes and dons a veil and takes up a post at the entrance of a village through which Judah will pass. Judah noticed her, and since her face was covered, thought she was a prostitute. He propositions her, unaware she's his daughter-in-law, and they both agreed on a payment of a young goat (nice). To insure this payment, Tamar asks for his "identification seal and its cord and the walking stick you are carrying." Horny Judah hands it over and gets him some borderline incestual lovin' and Tamar gets pregnant.

She returns to her dad's, puts her widow clothes back on, and none are the wiser, insuring Judah cannot make good on the goat payment or recover his effects. Three months later, Tamar's pregnancy is noticed and she's set to be burned to death by Judah's order.

To save herself, she produces the effects proving Judah the father and he replied, "She is more righteous than I am, because I didn't arrange for her to marry my son Shelah." This was the only tryst between father and daughter.

By no real planning, I'm also reading "The Year of Living Biblically," by A.J. Jacobs. It's very cheeky and, oddly enough, enlightening. His version of Judah and Tamar differs from mine, likely because I'm a woman and he's a dude. He sees her actions as "ethically murky" and "illicit, deceit-filled." I, on the other hand, see that it was Judah who was the tool (in more ways than one) and he failed to uphold Jewish responsibility for Tamar. Forget the fact that Er was wicked and Onan was born way too early to learn via Monty Python that "every sperm is sacred." God waxed these boys not because of Tamar but because they were total wads. And she simply went to any lengths to straighten out Judah.

So given that prostitution is apparently ok if you're the customer, I can't help but wonder if Judah, the rich widower that he apparently was, paved the way for Client #9? Unlike the virginal Mr. Cruise in "Risky Business," Judah kind of played this thing like a pro. You go, Tamar!