Matthew 10: Not for the lily livered

With an army of 12, Jesus sends his mates on a mission of sharing, healing, blessing, etc., but warns them that this will be no easy task. Most people aren't going to dig the message and there will be times their asses will get handed to them.

Two verses in this chapter jumped out at me because of direct experience I've had with each. The first comes when Jesus is sharing about the hardships they'll likely face. In verses 10:19-20, Jesus reminds his buds not to fret over defending themselves--"God will give you the right words at the right time. For it is not you who will be speaking, it will be the Spirit of your Father speaking through you."

Ever watched someone talk and "felt" them? I believe those are times when God is speaking through them. And that's powerful stuff. But I don't think my God can use me as a channel if I'm full of shit. And I get that way, a lot.

I've been blessed to have teachers in my life who remind me to pray unceasingly. Now, I'm no pro at this and, to be honest, at times it's been a drag. Even now, I'm still not willing to devote my life to prayer and study, but I will say this, my prayer has been more frequent and my study, not so dusty.

But this effort is in opposition to how our culture would have us live: forever at the Palms in Vegas! There's the Botox, the credit line, the personal trainer, the mansion, the this, the that. But the spiritual life, the life I think Jesus encouraged others to embrace, is far different. It honors the cycles of life, it fears nothing, it trusts in the Eternal, it's rooted in the unseen and shows itself in the small things. Quite opposite from my programming.

So I can totally understand Jesus' warnings. And, given my desire to know more about this spiritual life, but unwillingness to delete E!News from my daily DVR lineup, it drives home the point of the second verse, 10:39, "If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it."

I know there's greater peace on the spiritual path, but my old ideas and desires die hard. The beautiful thing, though, is that when I watch E!News, I tend to feel like a big boil of puke. In fact, I'm deleting more recordings than I am watching them. And I do have faith that one day, I'll willingly delete the timer altogether. It's not that some vengeful deity is a fun-hater and wants to see me all monastic and stiff. But by experiencing more of the 4th dimension of existence, I'll find much of that pop culture crap unappealing.

You know, I never thought I'd compare spiritual growth to my E!News fix. Go figure.